Help Wanted

Fatigued, over-worked, and once intelligent couple seeking anybody that can responsibly take care of an adorable, very fast crawling little boy.

- Person must be signficantly more attentive to details than the parents currently are. At this point in time, this would include 7 year olds in a video arcade, any hungover college kid 'the morning after' the biggest party of the year, or a guy shopping for curtains with his wife on a Sunday during football season.

- Person must have more energy than parents currently have. At this point in time, those same hungover college kids would qualify, as well as a teenager with Mono, or any businessman who just completed a 12 hour flight schedule with two layovers, one delay, and only peanuts and water for nourishment.

- Person must be able to drive or set up transportation in case parents injure Brady or themselves. Also would be beneficial to bring highly needed items left behind on routine trips, when necessary.

- There are no educational level requirements for this position. The Harvard MBA degree clearly is of no value in this case.

The reasons why help above is needed is because of a recent series of perplexing events occurring in our household - primarily driven from the tax season crunch on Irene and new job negotiations with Jason. Examples of concerning events are as follows:

1. March 28, 2007 - Irene left her car at the dealership for maintenance. She planned to simply ride the commuter rail from Back Bay to Needham heights and walk three blocks home. At 5:55pm ET, I received a call from Irene stating "Umm, I don't know what happened, but I think I got on the wrong train and I think I'm in Canton." For those non-Bostonians, Canton is not close to Needham, so I had to get Brady out of daycare and pick her up on the way home from work.

2. March 30, 2007 - Irene helped me carry Brady's daycare bag (food, bibs, etc) out to the car in the morning. When I arrived at daycare, I couldn't find Brady's bag. I thought I left it at home (very possible and has happened multiple times prior), but I realized that Irene had 'helped' me with Brady's stuff in the morning. I called Irene and sure enough, the bag was in her car, so she had to leave work and come to daycare (and then she worked the morning in my office, which is in the same building as daycare).

3. March 31, 2007 - At 2:44pm ET I took Brady upstairs to help me empty out the trash for a run to the dump. 2:45pm ET, Brady bolted out of the room and decided to go downstairs on his own. When I realized he wasn't where I thought he was, I ran out of the room just in time to see him going full speed off the top step of the stairs. I was one step (literally) behind him the whole way down the stairs as he bounced down the stairs like a rubber hot dog. Truly, one of the most terrifying things I've seen in my life. We then spent the next 4 hours in the emergency room, but mostly for precaution sake. Brady is very happy and healthy as usual. The doctor confirmed that Brady is a very durable little guy and will make a great running back. Okay, I made up the second part, but he did say he was quite durable.

4. April 2, 2007 - At 7:43am ET, Irene called me on my way to work to find out if I took Brady's daycare bag in my car even though she was taking Brady to my parents' house for the day. I didn't though, which meant that Irene had to return home from my parents' house to get the bag and then go back to my parents' house to drop it off.

In summary, if anybody fits the above help wanted advertisement, PLEASE apply before we starve or break our little boy (or ourselves....).



Thanks.

Management